Demon With A Shotgun
by Lifespire
Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to be go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?
1. Chapter 1-When the World Falls to Pieces

Demon With A Shotgun

Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to be go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?

Pairings: None. Hell no. I don't write that stuff

Warnings: A polite idiot, a glowing sword, and a really creepy ghost.

Author's Note: This is my first One Piece fanfic, please tell me your thoughts. All reviews are welcome. For more experienced writers, I humbly ask you to please be kind enough to offer me your guidance.

" "speech.

Italics are Joker's thoughts.

"There are no limits to human stupidity." –Anonymous

Chapter 1-When the World Falls to Pieces

12:36 am

Lunch was a silent affair, neither girls bothering to speak much. Other than the occasional "Pass the ketchup" and a few half-hearted tries at making small talk like normal friends do, there was nothing to ease up the tension that hung thick and heavy over the table. The taller of the two girls who was obviously of Mexican heritage sighed, setting her milk carton down on the table.

"This has got to stop, Joker." she said, staring down the Asian girl in an attempt to make Joker meet her eyes. _My thoughts are not something I can just rein in like a horse, though I am unsure if this is clear to you... _

"Susan." Joker replied, and began sipping her milk again.

"What?" Susan snapped impatiently. Joker grinned at her cheerfully.

"My apologies, but what is that you speak of that must stop? My wonderful jokes.?" Joker asked. _I'll just fake obliviousness then, though I know it won't work._

"No! Get your head out of the clouds! And your jokes are horrible!" Susan shouted, slamming her fist onto the table. "Ow that hurt…" _I do not doubt that. _

"If my jokes are not to everyone's liking, why am I called Joker?" Joker pointed out, pouting miserably.

"I have no idea!" Susan snapped.

…

"Stop getting off topic, you little brat!" Susan snarled. "I'm serious here!"

Joker sighed, pouting at the other girl.

"I receive good marks, do I not? I fail to see the problem." Joker whined. _Please stop._

"Well, I do. It's fine that you love One Piece, but right now, I'm the only friend you have, and I'll lose all my friends if this goes on. You're always spacing out during conversations and everything, it's starting to piss me off!" Susan snapped. Joker flinched a little, a guilty expression on her face. She sighed softly. It wasn't as if she could control what her brain did, but she really didn't want to lose Susan as a friend. They had been friends for years now, and it was really a stupid reason for them to stop. _Is this really how things between us are going to be from now on__？_

"My apologies. I will try harder from now on if it is what you wish…" Joker said lamely, tracing patterns on the table with her finger.

"Trying isn't good enough anymore!" Susan exploded, before forcing herself to calm down.

"You are most correct..." Joker replied meekly, lowering her head and pouting. Susan stared at the younger girl blankly for a few moments, before making a forced smile. _How insincere you appear…even when you smile_

"I'm glad you understand. I'm going to go throw out my tray now." Susan said, and promptly left with her tray. Joker stared at her lunch miserably, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore. She knew that Susan really meant well for her, but Joker couldn't stop her thoughts from straying to more interesting topics in their conversations. Sighing for the fifteenth time since the day began, Joker stared out the window at the sullen grey sky outside. _It appears that my thoughts need to be more organized. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it. _"Should I die, I would like to go to the One Piece world…" she muttered, before standing up and leaving the table. She never noticed the sky turning red.

1:27 pm

Formulas were scrawled all over the blackboard in the math teacher's messy handwriting. As Joker copied them down, she couldn't help but wonder if Susan would give up on her this time. The air also seemed to be a bit tense, and it was almost as if she wasn't getting enough oxygen.

2:54 pm

After an agonizing hour and a half of math class, it was finally time for Gym, when she would get to see Susan. Maybe she should apologize…even though she already did. Susan didn't seem appeased by the previous apologies though. Maybe if Joker apologized sincerely enough? For some odd reason, she thought that she felt a slight tremor in the earth. _It must be paranoia._

3:13 pm

Susan hadn't been pleased by Joker's sincere façade, but grudgingly accepted her apology, making it clear that it was Joker's last chance. At the moment, nothing could shatter her good mood, though Joker smelt the faint smell of smoke and ozone, but brushed it off as her imagination.

4:42 pm

School was over, she was free for the day, and it was a Friday, so all should have been well. The only problems was the blood red sky and the trembling earth, and this time it wasn't he imagination.

"What the hell is this?" Joker whispered, gulping as the sidewalk cracked and green flames seeped out from the jagged lines. A bird fell to the ground, dead, and Joker felt her heartbeat speed up. Screams warped with pain and fear sounded out from all around her, but all of them seemed distant to her ears. _What was this?!_ Joker squeezed her eyes shut, collapsing to her knees as her trembling legs gave out beneath her. _Is this the end?! It couldn't be! _Fear numbed her senses, but she gave a scream as the flames licked away at a boy's flailing limbs and blood spurted from the burns. _Stop it! Stop hurting him! _

"This cannot be happening!" Joker wailed, trying to look away but failing to do so. Eyes widened in shock as blood splashed onto her shirt and the boy's screams died off.

"Fire doesn't do that!" she screamed shrilly, trying to clamber away as the pavement beneath her feet began cracking too.

"No!" she clumsily stumbled away from the crumbling buildings as flames sprang up from the ground all around her. _There!_ A fallen wall was still unaffected, and just close enough for her to jump onto. Not that she was good at jumping, but she wasn't willing to die either. Joker breathed in deeply and ran for the wall, jumping too early. _Crap, I'm gonna die a bloody death…_the air she'd sucked in caught in her throaght as the flames licked the heels of her favorite sneakers, instantly melting them. She choked, coughing violently as the odor of smoke and blood filled her nose. _I'm doomed, is this because of what I said earlier about One Piece?_ Tears formed in her eyes as the flames burst up towards her, almost as if sensing prey, and she landed on her hands and knees in a puddle of blood. _Eh?_ Joker stared blankly at the blood, and then the surface she had landed on, vaguely recognizing it as the wall she'd jumped for. _I made it!_

"I'm alive! Yay~ Though the world is ending! Ahaha! Stop it! I can't giggle, it's the end of the world!"Joker giggled hysterically, collapsing on her side on the cold, wet surface. To her credit, her thoughts didn't wander off to Skypiea or Enies Lobby, and concentrated intensely on the current situations. Cold, wet, red, blood…_Blood. Ah! There's blood!_ Inner Joker did a mini-Chopper-hiding routine in her brain. Glancing around her, Joker's eyes finally landed on a shuddering form covered in blood trying and failing to sit up. _I don't want to die! I don't want anyone to die!_

"Ah! Are you alright?! No wait, stupid question…please don't try to move! I'll come to you right away!" Joker called, carefully moving towards what she had identified as a girl. The girl was a terrible sight to behold, her cracked and bleeding limbs trembling like leaves, long black hair( was it really black? It all seemed a terrifying shade of dark red) dripping with blood. Her clothing was scorched, and her coat and shoes were missing. The only thing that remained intact was a blue scarf pressed to her arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Joker froze, trying to recall what Susan had been wearing. Her mind drew a blank, before the image of a blue scarf popped into her mind. _Oh holy shit. Gotta watch my language-that's not important!_

"Susan!" Joker called, scrambling towards the older girl. But as soon as she got close, a powerful kick connected with her stomach, sending her toppling over. Joker gasped, pain exploding in her abdomen. _What-?!_

"Damn it…" Susan's achingly familiar voice spoke, but it was trembling and crazed and not at all the irritated shrill voice she was so very used too. _S-susan, what are you doing?!_

"We're all gonna die today, yeah, Joker?" Joker was curled in a ball, clenching her eyes against the blinding pain of her abused stomach. She peeked up when a shadow fell over her face, and screamed when she saw the disfigured face of her best friend. A crazed glint was in Susan's eyes as bloodied hands gently stroked Joker's neck. Without warning, they suddenly tightened, beginning to choke her. _S-stop! _

"Ugh-" Joker choked, staring up at Susan with a betrayed look.

"So why don't you come along to hell with me?" Susan giggled. Joker tried to scream, but there wasn't any air getting to her lungs. By instinct, she kicked out at Susan, making the girl loosen her hold. Joker rolled out of the way and desperately looked around for an escape route.

"What's the matter? We're friends aren't we?" Susan was giggling hysterically as she staggered towards Joker. _Damn it! I want to help you! I want to make it out of this alive with you! But I can't even get close to you when you're like this, even though you're still the same person. I want to save you, but I don't want to be killed by you!_ Joker didn't even realize that she had began crying somewhere along the line.

"Susan! Stop it! Please! Just sit down and let me bandage your wounds-" Joker gagged, trying not to throw up as the events finally caught up to her. Susan suddenly tackled her, and the stench of blood filled her nose as it dripped onto her face. Right behind her were the flames, as she had somehow backed to the very edge of the wall, and before her was Susan, body dripping with warm blood. And then she was falling into the flames, and her plea for help drowned among the shrieks of agony that filled the blood red sky.

To her shock, it didn't burn. Instead, there was solid ground, and though her head ached from being slammed into it, it didn't burn. Gasping in shock, she patted the ground. It was cool, hard, solid. _I didn't die?_ Joker sat up carefully, glancing around. She stared at her hand. It was still wet with blood. She seemed to in some sort of room? _The hell?_ Joker stood up cautiously, heart pounding against her chest so hard it was painful.

"Now now, what do we have here?" a smooth voice chuckled next to her ear. _Huh?_ Cold, smooth fingers brushed against the side of her face and her wrist, in a manner almost ghostly. _Huh?_

"I believe there is a rapist behind me."

End

A/N: I apologize for the bad quality of this chapter and its shortness. Please pardon whatever grammatical mistakes I have made, I have been living in China a bit too long, and it is taking its toll on my English. Please offer me your criticism and guidance. Though truly wondrous, the internet is also an unreliable tool, so please make haste and click on the review button while it is still available.


	2. Chapter 2-Tom He was the Piper's Son

Demon With A Shotgun Chapter 2 Alt. Version

Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to be go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?

Pairings: None. Hell no. I don't write that stuff

Warnings: A polite idiot, a glowing sword, and a really creepy ghost.

Disclaimer: If I owned One Piece, Sabo and Ace wouldn't have died…sniff sniff sob sob

A/N: Please tell me your thoughts…So basically, Joker is sort of polite, but she's also an idiot. This chapter, a goofy guy appears. …I like Joker. I won't let her have a painless death. Oh, and the black haired teen…he's a canon character but he doesn't appear a lot. In fact, he barely shows up at all. Guess who…he's probably not who you think he is either…Thank you for all your support, minna! I won't list your names since you might not want me to, but you know who you are and now you know of my undying love for you guys.

"" speech

_Italics_ Joker's thoughts

{} Parallel Story (This is something starting this chapter, and it all sums up at the end of an arc)

"The love for this country…is what will destroy this country!"-Sir Crocodile

"I may be arrogant, but I am not arrogant enough to save someone irresponsibly just to brag about it." –Ceil Phantomhive.

Last Chapter: "Now now, what do we have here?" a smooth voice chuckled next to her ear. _Huh?_ Cold, smooth fingers brushed against the side of her face and her wrist, in a manner almost ghostly. _Huh?_

"I believe there is a rapist behind me."

Chapter 2- Tom He Was The Piper's Son

"Don't be silly, I'm not a rapist, I'm a swordsman and a ghost!" the voice laughed mockingly.

"I see no reason why you cannot be all three." Joker replied. _Why not?_

"You're funny, aren't you?" the voice released her, much to her relief, and Joker turned to get a good look at the guy. _Wait…ghost?_

"GHOST?!" Joker screamed, panicking.

"Am I dead? Who are you? Where is this?!" she backed away desperately until her head thunked against a wall. _GAHHHH! GHOOOST! UWAH!_ Joker had watched some Korean/ Japanese horror movies before, and was terrified by the concept of a ghost.

"Calm down, would you? You're asking too many questions at once. I'm dead, you're not, I'm Spade and this is La Idem, a weird island with a weird name somewhere on the Grand Line." the ghost now identified as Spade sweatdropped. Joker calmed down a bit, before taking a good look at the ghost, who seemed to be an albino, and was wearing a kimono. He was probably around twenty, and was rather good looking, like many young men in One Piece were. _Wait, I'm missing something here…_

"G-GRAND LINE?!" Joker screeched. The ghost sweatdropped again.

"Didn't you hear me the first time? Stop looking so surprised." Spade sighed in exasperation.

_Ghost….Swordsman….Grand Line…kimono…_

"BLURGHHHH!"

"Hey, you okay? You're foaming at the mouth! Hm, didn't know girls could make such weird noises…" Spade asked, not really seeming concerned.

Five Minutes Later

Joker sat up straight, seeming calmer than before.

"My sincere apologies for my earlier rudeness, Spade-san. There was no excuse for my behavior. Please forgive me…" Joker said, wiping away whatever foam remaining on her chin. _Calm down…it must be a dream! If it isn't…whatever, it is! _Spade raised an eyebrow.

"You sure recover fast, huh? That little display you put on what quite entertaining. You were like a dog with rabies." Spade grinned at her. _Is that an insult or is it not?_

"Thank you." Joker bowed her head, going with the safer option.

"That was an insult, you dimwit! Show some reaction, damn it!" Spade snarled, making an angry face at her.

"Oh…sorry….Wait! You obnoxious ruffian!" she growled at Spade. _So it was an insult!_

"How is that a suitable comeback?" Spade sweatdropped again. _Uhh…._

"Two swords!" Joker blurted out. _Wait, that's not an insult, right? _Spade frowned.

"That's not an insult!" he snapped. _That's right! What did Luffy say again?_

"Three swords!" she declared. _I hate being insulted and not realizing it! Though it's sorta my own fault…but still! It's not my fault my body reacted by foaming at the mouth!_

"You just added one…" Spade commented, sweatdropping again. _Gah!_

"Right…anyways…I apologize for my insolence…I guess…" Joker said lamely, tracing patterns on her pants leg with her finger. Spade grinned.

"You're an idiot, aren't you? At least you sort of are…no no no, don't look so insulted, most people are idiots. At least you're amusing! Ah, I didn't even ask you yet, who are you?" Spade asked her. _Well, whatever._

"Thank you, I guess…My name is Joanna Lee, but I prefer Joker. It is a pleasure to meet you." Joker said mechanically. _Not really, it's been a shitty dream so far._

"Hahaha! Wish I could say the same for you… Well then, Joker, who the hell are you and why can you see me?" Spade asked, smiling darkly down at Joker.

{ "Tom he was the piper's son

He learnt to play when he was young,

And all the tune that he could play

Was 'over the hills and far away';

Over the hills and a great way off,

The wind shall blow my top-knot off."

"Ugh-!" a young boy cried out in pain as a knee was driven into his stomach.

"You damn trash, you shouldn't have even been born!" a man sneered at the boy. Tears welled up in the boy's eyes.

"I don't care! I'm going to become the world's greatest swordsman!" he declared, sniffling pathetically. The men surrounding him looked at each other with wide eyes before bursting into laughter.

"Hahaha! A little brat like you? As if!" a muscular man laughed.

"Stop dreaming!"

"Damn little freak, why don't we just kill him right here and now?"

"He's polluting the very air we breathe."

The men laughed down at the trembling child, who angrily wiped at his eyes.

"All of you old geezers who don't live for a purpose will be the ones laughed at one day!" he declared bravely, but flinched as a fist slammed into his face.

"What was that? Damn cheeky brat, I'll kill you!" a man snarled, pulling out a knife. The boy's eyes widened with fear and he backed away immeadiently. The man stalked forward, his shadow looming over the boy. The child hid his face in his arms, bracing himself for the pain that never came.

"You're all correct. He will never become the world's greatest swordsman….because he is too weak!" this calm declaration was followed by several voices shouting in surprise, and then in pain. When it all became quiet, a hand landed on his arm. The boy looked up to see a black haired boy standing before him.

"Didn't I tell you not to provoke them? They already hate you for being the son of a marine, you don't have to make it worse by running your mouth." the teen spoke calmly, picking up the smaller boy.

"I don't care!" the smaller boy sniffled at his friend.

"In this kind of place, words don't matter. Only actions do…or have you forgotten that?" the teen asked. The streets were dark and deserted, a few stragglers staggering down the curb, dead corpses littering the gutters. It was a place that reeked of despair and hopelessness, this city of -}

"Hmm…that is a good question….I wonder why…" Joker mused, placing a finger on her chin. A vein twitched on Spade's forehead. _Hmm? He looks a little angry…_

"I'm asking you that!" Spade shouted, making a scary face at her.

"Uwah! My sincere apologies!" Joker wailed, ducking as Spade swung a ghostly fist at her head.

"…."

"…."

"…."

"So you really don't know…" Spade muttered. The look in his eyes turned calculating, and Joker stiffened and focused intensely on the current situation. _He looks about Zoro's age, so two to three years older than me…the way he sits is a lot feels a lot like samurai, and for some reason I get the feeling that he's a guy who follows through on his threats…creepy…he's wearing wooden sandals like Luffy does, but the soles seem different, almost like it's to help him get better footing. Hmm…damn, that's all I can find out…for now…Well, he seems really smart and a bit cold, but I can't really tell…and I think I've been insulted a lot by him already, but I can't tell when…ugh, I give up…My observation skills are crap, did you know that? Wait, who am I talking to anyways? Does this even count as talking? _

"You seemed surprised when I said Grand Line, and you also just popped out of nowhere into this place…" Spade seemed to be deep in thought, and stared at Joker.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Sta-

"Please stop it! It's making me uncomfortable!" Joker demanded, glaring at Spade.

"Okay, damn it! Well, mind explaining a bit?" Spade snapped. _Ugh…what's with this pressure? Who does he think he is? An interrogator? Wait, that is his current role…_

"I-I'm not from this world! This shouldn't be possible, but it doesn't seem to be a dream!" Joker blurted, before clapping a hand over her mouth. _!_

Spade looked surprised. Well, understatement.

"EEEEEEHHHHHH?!" Spade screamed, his eyeballs popping out of his head. _Is it that surprising? Well, yes, it is…I guess._

"A-A-ALIEN!" Spade screamed.

"What?!"

Five Minutes Later

"Hm, so that's how it is…your world ended and you suddenly appeared here…but you don't think it's a dream because you can feel pain, and it's too weird to be a dream…and you're too confused to have a proper reaction…." Spade recapped, having calmed down. _There's the apocalypse in a nutshell._

"Yes, that's basically how it is." Joker said, nodding.

"Okay then. If I can be a ghost, why can't you be someone from a different world?" Spade shrugged and placed a hand on the sword next to him, fingers passing through it. _Disturbing…_

"Thank you for your understanding…" Joker swallowed. _Is it really okay to ask him like that? But I really do need to know…_

"Spade-" Joker stopped abruptly, nervousness overwhelming her.

"What?" Spade asked cheerfully.

"Please tell me, where is this, and how do I get out of here?" Joker spoke extremely fast, her words slurring together. _Please please please please please- _

"I was wondering how long it would take you to ask that…so you finally understand the situation you are in, yes?" Spade grinned evilly. _Uh-huh. I'm in a room with a ghost in a place I probably shouldn't be, since my luck is so bad. _

"Yes, this room…it's in somewhere I shouldn't be, am I correct?" Joker said nervously.

"That's right, that's exactly how things are right now. You're in the mansion of a formerly renowned swordsman, until he was defeated by Mihawk. He doesn't take kindly to intruders, but enjoys having guests. You will most likely get killed if he finds you, but you will also die if you don't leave the mansion. I also want to leave this mansion, but I can't leave without taking this sword. I'll help you escape and continue helping you afterwards, in exchange for a small favor and my sword being taken care of." Spade deadpanned, staring at Joker. _That's an unexpectedly good deal, isn't it? Wait, small favor?_

"I'm sorry, but what is the small favor that you refer to?" Joker frowned slightly when he ignored her. _Isn't he gonna answer? Hello? Hellooo- poke poke poke poke po-_

"Find someone for me, and give him my sword." Spade finally replied.

"Oh, okay then…" Joker said awkwardly. _It doesn't seem to be too hard…right?_

"So, we have a deal?" Spade asked, grinning when she nodded.

"Pinky promise?" Joker proposed. Spade raised an eyebrow, and Joker flushed. _Oops, wasn't thinking. Great. Just because my brain is dysfunctional, I've somehow proposed a pinky promise with a ghost._

"Well, my fingers didn't pass right through you earlier, so it couldn't hurt to try." Spade grinned and extended his pinky. Joker leaned forward and the two shook pinkies. _His hand is cold….brrrr_

"Great, and now how do you propose that we get out?"

{ Tom he was the piper's son

He learned to play when he was young

And all the tune that he could play-

For some reason, he couldn't remember the rest of the song. But that didn't matter. Master had said to him before, the only thing that mattered was victory, and as long as you win, no matter how many cheap tricks you use and lives you waste, all shall be forgiven. What master said must be true. After all, master was the one who had stood there, laughing as the village around him went up into flames. Master had been the one to pull him from the rubble and take him here. Master taught him to value the beautiful things, to keep them, to play with them, and laugh when they broke. So when master told him to take care of the swordsman at the front gate, he didn't hesitate. The swordsman at the front gate was still young, but he had already plowed through notorious swordsman, rising steadily and making a name for himself on a global scale. This would be interesting…}

"…" Joker stared at Spade. _Is he serious?_

"Well, what do you think of the plan?" Spade asked, clapping his hands together.

"So…you're asking me to lend you my energy for a plan that only has a 23% success rate…and if it fails, my energy will still be depleted and I will most likely die…" Joker said incredulously. Spade shifted uncomfortably under her stare.

"…yeah?" he said awkwardly. _That is so…_

"My life depends on your untested ability to leech off my energy and fly through walls…" Joker said in an uncharacteristically dry voice. _COOL!_

"Please do as you will. I will provide you with my energy, so please fulfill your job and take us from this mansion." Joker said solemnly. Spade fell over.

"You were going to agree?!" he shouted, making an angry face.

"I entrust my life to you." Joker said solemnly. A vein twitched on Spade's forehead.

"Don't pressure me, damn it!" he shouted. Joker made a face at him.

"Please don't fail. I'll die." she continued. _Hahaha! He's fun to mess with._

" I just said not to pressure me, you wench!" Spade snarled. _…wench?_

Joker giggled softly, and cautiously placed her hand on the nodachi. It reminded her of Trafalgar Law, but it looked more dangerous and elegant. _So pretty…I want one too. I don't know how to use it though, so there isn't any point. _

"It's one of the best swords in this world, Tempesta del Rabbia. It's an unusual name, but it's maker was an eccentric man." Spade said proudly as Joker slowly drew it from its sheath.

"Rage of the Storm? That's a cool name for a sword…" Joker murmured, staring at the sleek blade in awe. A pattern similar to flame was etched onto the nodachi, and the whole thing felt… _alive?_

"It's amazing! Okay, tie the sheath to your shoulder with your scarf or something. Make the knot secure. Yes, that's right…" Spade ordered. Joker didn't mind. It reminded her of Andrew, her older cousin. Shaking her head, Joker picked up the sword, holding it awkwardly. Spade sighed in exasperation and grabbed her arms, eliciting a small yelp from Joker. _Who what where when why? _

"Like this!" Spade snapped, harshly readjusting the position of her hands.

"Okay…thanks…" Joker muttered, blushing slightly. _Not even my family touches me so carelessly…it's irritating! Let go! Wait…whatever. _

"Let's give this a go!" Spade declared, and Joker nodded vehemently with a stupid grin on her face. _I get to go through walls! Wait, that's not good or anything…_

An elderly man sat in a wheelchair, a younger man standing beside him.

"Natsu…I smell a rat." he said casually. The younger man stiffened.

"Again? I just caught one an hour ago…" he muttered. The older man turned his head to give him a reprimanding look.

"Go look for it. If I'm wrong, I'll give you a treat." The older man shooed Natsu off. Natsu sighed, before his eyes narrowed and he grinned darkly.

"Okay…time for me to go rat-hunting again…" he chuckled before taking off, down the dark hallway.

Spade sighed, gripping Joker's arm tightly.

"You ready?" he asked the girl. Joker nodded dutifully, and Spade smirked.

"Wonderful!" he declared, before the nodachi began to glow.

"What?!" Joker squeaked in shock. _It's glow in the dark? But we're not in the dark…it's too bright, so what is it-_

"Stop acting so panicky! It's supposed to happen!" Spade snarled. Joker relaxed, sighing in relief. The sword began glowing brighter and Joker suddenly began feeling tired.

"By the way, I've never done this before, so it might not be very comfortable for you…" Spade grinned and without any warning, pulled her right through the wall. There was suddenly no room to breathe, no light, and pressure pressed down on her from all around painfully. Joker wanted to scream, to breathe, to do anything at all, but the darkness just closed in more. And then just as suddenly as it had began, it ended, and they were in a long, dark hallway. Joker was lying on her side, and Spade hovered over her. _Wha-what was that?!My sanity! I've lost it! Oh wait I've already lost it…_

"Sorry, I didn't know it would be that bad…do you want to continue, or do you want to stop?" he asked, actually sounding worried. Joker tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was another bout of coughing. After several moments, Joker sat up and nodded. _Better than dying here…_  
"Let's continue…" she muttered. Spade gave her a long look, before sighing. The sword began to glow brighter, blue light emitting from the blade.

"This will take more energy, but it will be more comfortable." he promised, before proceeding to drag her through several walls in quick succession. Though it was still there, the pressure was no longer as bad. _Thank god!_

"Thank you very much." Joker said politely, earning a scornful look from the ghost dragging her.

"Shut up! You're too polite! It's so irritating!" he snarled. _Who gets angry because of that…?_

"Sorry…" Joker muttered. Spade just sighed and kept dragging her along.

"Tell me when you begin to have trouble breathing. I'll stop and wait a few moments for you to regain some of your energy." he ordered. Joker gave him a polite nod and focused on the sword she was holding in a vice-like grip. It took her mind off the horrible darkness that she kept getting pulled through, and it truly was beautiful. When she stared at it long enough, she thought that she saw a lone swordsman with long purple hair and black robes, standing in the midst of the ruins of a building, surrounded by flames and lightning. _What the hell? It's so cool!_

"That sword's wonderful, isn't it?" Spade asked cheerfully, dragging Joker by her arm through yet another wall. _Yes! Yes it is!_

"It truly is." Joker agreed happily, continuing to observe the sword. Suddenly, the duo jolted to a stop, making Joker's head thud into Spade's back.

"Ah…damn it, Master was right after all…there's a rat in here…a rat that's trying to steal a sword." a slightly childish voice groaned. Joker's head swiveled around at an incredible speed, and came to a stop when her gaze landed on an orange haired man. He was probably about 20, and quite good looking too. _Oh wait, of course he would think I'm a thief! At least he can't see Spade…_

"Oh shit!" Spade cursed, tightening the hold on her arm.

"Who is that?" Joker hissed fearfully. A drop of sweat rolled down Spade's face.

"That's Natsu, Baron's student! Baron is the master of this mansion…I can't believe we were found so soon…" Spade snarled, and gave her a look. _Oh shit! We're going to die!_

"Wanna make a run for it?" Spade asked her. Joker stared at the hottie for another moment.

"Let us be off!" she declared. Spade grinned, dragging her through the wall of the hallway.

"Huh? Through the wall? …wait! Thief! Stoooopppp!" Natsu shouted, cutting through the wall with what seemed to be a katana and chasing after them. _Oh crap…he's so strong!_

"Oh crap!" Spade wailed, unknowingly voicing her thoughts.

"This won't do! Soon he'll catch up to us and you'll be killed!" Spade shouted, making Joker panic. _What?! I don't want to die! _

"What?! What do I do?" Joker screeched. Spade seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, before he spoke thoughtfully.

"There is a way…if I use more of your energy."

"What is it?" Joker asked. _Anything is fine! I just want to stay alive!_

"Let me become material …and let me defeat him!"

Joker stared at the ghost who had insulted her, attempted to hit her, dragged her through walls and seemed extremely unreliable.

"Go ahead!"

A/N: So…how was it? If you see something wrong or something that can be improved, please tell me so I can make it better. Thank you for all your support! I really hope it's alright! Guess who the black haired teen is! Um…really, please review. I'm willing to get down on my knees and beg you guys.


	3. Chapter 3-Requiem of the Rain

Demon With A Shotgun Chapter 3

Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to be go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?

Pairings: None. Hell no. I don't write that stuff

Warnings: A polite idiot, a glowing sword, and a really creepy ghost.

Disclaimer: If I owned One Piece, Sabo and Ace wouldn't have died…sniff sniff sob sob

A/N: Please tell me what you think about the story. This chapter, a fight between swordsmen, Spade's pride, and Joker's desperation! I hope you like it! Again, thanks for reading and I'll love you forever if you review. No parallel story this chapter. I suck at fight scenes, so forgive me.

"" speech

_Italics_ Joker's thoughts

{} Parallel Story

Quotes: "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." Anonymous

"Hello, this is the shitty restaurant. Would you like to make a reservation?" Sanji.

Last Time: "There is a way…if I use more of your energy."

"What is it?" Joker asked. _Anything is fine! I just want to stay alive!_

"Let me become material …and let me defeat him!"

Joker stared at the ghost who had insulted her, attempted to hit her, dragged her through walls and seemed extremely unreliable. She breathed in deeply, considering her options.

"Go ahead!"

Chapter 3: Chasing the Sun

Spade grinned down at her, the grip on her arm loosening.

"Good to hear! Remember, tell me when you start having trouble breathing." he smirked confidently, and the sword began to glow so brightly that Joker had to look away. _What? _Then just as sudden, the light died down and the sword was covered in red flames. _Flames…green flames that tear at your flesh-_Joker shrieked and nearly dropped the sword, but a formerly-cold hand gripped the hilt, pulling it from her grip. _Huh? Spade? How is he holding it? _There was suddenly warmth on her arm that pushed it away from the sword, and Joker saw that Spade's hand was there. He grinned happily, sheathing the blade once more.

"Aah, it feels so good to be material again!" Spade laughed. Natsu, who had caught up to them, screeched to a stop and stared at Spade.

"There's another one!" he shouted in surprise. Joker was still staring at Spade in shock. _This can't be-_ Without warning, Joker poked Spade's cheek. _Warm! Amazing! Is this…magic?!_ Spade turned to glare at her.

"Don't poke me!" he snarled. Joker pouted and moved her hand away. Spade glanced at her legs briefly before turning away. _Aw…no fun! _

"You should sit down before you fall over. This will take a lot of you energy." Spade warned. _Whoa! Really? Better sit down!_ Joker obediently plopped down on the ground before getting over her initial shock of a ghost becoming material. _Wait, if he loses I'll die…damn it! I just delayed my death by a few minutes! _

"I'll finish this quickly, it shouldn't take too long, so sit tight and watch!" Spade spoke confidently, and Joker found herself believing him. Natsu smiled calmly and withdrew another katana. _He suddenly seems very out of character…is it because it's a swordfight and he loves those or something? _

"I have no idea where you popped out of, but you sure seem confident. But…confidence alone is not enough to beat me! I have been trained in the art of the sword for years, and I have even ate a devil fruit! There is no way you can possibly beat me, you-" Natsu's speech was cut off by Spade, who was picking his nose.

"Whatever! Just shut up and come at me! I don't have all day, you know! Less talking, more fighting!" he complained. Natsu twitched slightly and tightened his grip on the katanas.

"Well, you asked for it! Two Sword Style, Flaming Cross!" Natsu charged at Spade, one sword before him and one held in a loose grip at his side. Spade casually fingered the hilt of his nodachi, not even bothering to unsheathe it. When Natsu got close enough, he made a lightning quick movement. "Lightning Form: Quick Draw!" the nodachi swung forward in a fluid motion that would have loped off Natsu's head had it not been blocked two katanas. _Amazing! I couldn't see him move at all! So cool…and scary! _Natsu and Spade both grinned, pushing forward, veins throbbing in their foreheads and arms. _They're evenly matched? No…_Spade's smirk widened as he slid his foot to the side and twisted his body to the right. _Spade has the upper hand!_ Natsu's swords were diverted to the side, and the orange haired man stumbled slightly. Spade shifted and swung his nodachi at Natsu, who leaned back, the sword missing by an inch. The albino swordsman quickly changed to a two handed grip and changed the course of the sword, swinging down at Natsu's arm. The swing was blocked by a katana again. Spade grinned. "Flame Form: Thrust!" Spade quickly shifted his weight, before thrusting upward. His sword slid against the katanas smoothly, and went through Natsu's shoulder, making the man scream in pain. _Oh my god! Wait, he's the enemy…but still! That looks like it really hurts! _

"You bastard!" Natsu screamed, swinging his katanas at Spade. _Wait, Spade's sword is still in Natsu's shoulder-he can't move away in time!_ Despite the impossibility of it, Spade still moved away in time, pulling his nodachi out as well. Spade had stepped to the side, changing to a one handed grip, allowing him to pull out the nodachi, slicing downwards as he did so. _Amazing! Wait, I'm sounding like I do when I watch Zoro defeat his opponents…_ Natsu's eyes widened, and he pulled out a bazooka from his pocket. _How did he even fit it there! _Natsu fired it at Spade, but rather than an explosion, smoke billowed around the albino swordsman.

Spade found himself surrounded by smoke, and realized that he couldn't sense the other swordsman at all. That would mean that Natsu wasn't within his range, which also meant that Natsu wasn't going to use this as a cover to attack him…oh shit. The only other possibility would be that Natsu was aiming at Joker. He was running low on energy too; Joker had a terribly measly amount of energy to spare. Spade growled and ran in Joker's direction.

_Huh? Why a smoke screen? A surprise attack with movements masked by the smoke? No, I don't think so. Then what? _Joker sighed, feeling more and more exhausted. _It's barely been three minutes too…_ The glint of metal caught her attention, and Joker found herself staring at the hottie swordsman with two katanas. The swordsman smirked evilly.

"It seems that I will have to take care of you first, you piece of trash!" he declared. _Oh shit!_

"IYAAAAAAAAAAH!" Joker screamed, forcing her dead limbs to move.

Spade's ear twitched at the sound of a terrified scream, and he burst out of the smoke with eyes narrowed dangerously. Natsu was frowning at Joker, who was bleeding heavily from the arm. The other swordsman raised his sword again. Did that man have no shame? Was he even a real swordsman?

"Do you know no shame? Your opponent is over here!" Spade shouted, charging at Natsu.

Joker somehow managed to fall backwards, the swing missing. _Oh my god that nearly took my head off Oh shit I'm gonna die again_

"How irritating…I missed." Natsu spoke in a bored tone, before raising his sword again. Panicking, she tried to back away. Though she was expecting a vertical swing again, what came was a horizontal swipe she wasn't lucky enough to evade. She fell to her side as the blade went over her head and through the flesh of her left arm. _I'm going to freaking DIE! Spade damn it where the hell are you?! _Joker realized that she had began crying from the pain, but couldn't find it in herself to blink them back. Natsu clicked his tongue, frowning slightly, before raising his sword again.

"No! Stop it! Stop! STOP!" Joker screamed, covering her head with her good arm as her left arm stained the hallway crimson. She squeezed her eyes closed as Natsu's blade swung down. _Oh shit that's my blood-I'm going to die and I can't even do a thing about it…_

"Do you know no shame? Your opponent is over here!" she heard Spade shout. The sound of two blades clashing above her head made her look up, and a familiar sword dancing with flames met her sight. _Spade!_

"Are you having trouble breathing?" Spade asked her, eyes narrowing at the sight of her tears.

"No. Sorry, I'm such a crybaby." Joker replied, sniffling. Spade sighed, exasperated.

"Yeah yeah. I need more energy." he demanded, forcing Natsu back with a backhanded slash. This one sliced through Natsu's defense and cut into his abdomen. _I'm so glad…_

"Okay. Please go ahead." Joker tried to wipe at her eyes but found that she couldn't raise her arm. Spade sweatdropped at her pathetic attempt.

"Yeah, so just go to sleep for now, I'll wake you up later. This will take even more energy, so you wouldn't stay awake even if you tried." Spade warned. Joker nodded silently.

Spade watched as the sword glowed brighter and brighter, before it erupted into red flames that danced along its length. He barely noticed Joker falling over, focusing on the beauty of the sword instead. The other swordsman was trembling with suppressed rage, and didn't seem to give a damn about his sword. Spade sighed. Some people just couldn't appreciate the beauty of his sword… The image of Joker's crying face suddenly popped into his head.

"I will end this with one strike." he spoke coldly, glaring at Natsu.

"That girl, you should've just let her die! She'll only be a burden to you!" Natsu snarled. Spade stared at him.

"No. She's my ticket out. She's really irritating though. She reminds me too much of when I was younger. Especially when she cries. Only my younger self is allowed to act like that! It's so annoying!" Spade complained. It was Natsu's turn to stare.

"…okay. So it wasn't because you cared. For some reason though, that sounded a lot like you guys are friends to me." the other swordsman pointed out. Spade twitched.

"As if! Now stop changing the subject. I need to end this quickly." Spade snapped.

Natsu chuckled, making Spade stare at him in confusion.

"Didn't I tell you that I ate a devil fruit?"

The pressure in the air thickened and Spade grimaced. It seemed that it would not be as easy as he thought it would be.

"I ate the Bullet Bullet Fruit! That blood on your clothing, on your sword and all around you…are all deadly weapons!" Natsu grinned insanely. Spade's eyes widened comically as the blood on his clothing disappeared and there was suddenly pain in his arm.

"Ugh…?! You turned your blood into bullets and shot me with it, right?" Spade said thoughtfully as he grimaced in pain. Natsu smiled cheerfully.

"That's right! Even if you figured it out, that's still alright. I didn't want to use it, but your clothes are covered in my blood. It's too good a chance!"

Spade didn't have time to react as bullets lodged themselves in his limbs and abdomen. Letting out a shout of pain, Spade snarled. This wasn't looking in his favor, but if he didn't end this, Joker would die. That would mean that he was stuck in this mansion forever, and Spade also hated having people die because of his failures.

"You leave me no choice." Spade sighed, shifting his weight. Natsu actually wasn't that strong, but between Joker's measly energy and Natsu's cheap tricks, it was taking much longer than necessary.

"Aqua Form: Sea Serpent!" Spade sped forward, holding his nodachi in a two handed grip. Natsu raised his hand.

"Blood Bullet: Machine Gun!" Natsu slit open the palm of his hand with the katana and sent blood red bullets flying directly at Spade with incredible accuracy. Spade's pupils dilated, glowing purple briefly. There was only time for a drop of blood to fall from Spade's crimson-stained sleeve to the ground as the bullets passed through thin air. Natsu gasped.

"What?!"

Spade suddenly swooped in from Natsu's side, nodachi slicing deep into Natsu's chest.

"It seems that I won't be able to end this in one blow…" Spade murmured. A drop of sweat trickled down his face even as he grinned. Even though he was technically dead already, the blood loss was still affecting him, despite all the energy he had just taken from Joker. Natsu howled in pain, but still managed to turn the spurting blood into bullets and fired them at Spade.

The albino swordsman gritted his teeth, allowing several bullets to lodge themselves in his side as he twisted his body, keeping the bullets from hitting any vital places. Without even a moment of pause, Spade surged forward, letting out a roar as he swung his nodachi once more. With this strike it would all be over… Natsu raised his katana to block the swing, but Spade crashed straight through the other man's defense and sliced off Natsu's head.

"A fitting end for someone like him…" Spade said airily, shoving the corpse through the wall, followed quickly by the severed head.

Joker's head was pounding painfully, and there was a dull ache in her chest. A cold hand was roughly shaking her shoulder and her left arm felt wet and heavy. Clutching her head, Joker opened an eye sleepily. _Ah too bright…oh wait, it's too dark…_ Spade was standing before her, and judging by the lack of warmth in his hand, he was immaterial again. Joker's eyes snapped open.

"Are you alright?!" she gasped, sitting upright. Spade rolled his eyes.

"I'm a ghost, so when I become immaterial, my wounds all disappear. Good news is that I won. Bad news is that you're bleeding out and don't have enough energy for me to take you through walls anymore, which puts us at a severe disadvantage." Spade deadpanned, shoving a ton of information at the still sleepy Joker. _Huh?_

"Wha-?" Joker gaped at him, not understanding at all. Spade sighed before making a thinking pose for a moment.

"Hmm. Maybe you'll understand it like this. Ghost, Wounds, Gone, Won, Bleeding, You. No more walls." Spade spoke. Joker sweatdropped. _Do all people in this world make that joke? Wait, what?_ Joker grinned at Spade.

"Congratulations on your win!" Joker declared, before processing the rest of the sentence.

"That's bad…we can no longer go through walls? How inconvenient… I apologize for causing you trouble with my lack of energy…wait, I'm bleeding?" Joker continued. Spade frowned at her oddly when she began to giggle. _Haha! That joke never gets old!_

"Hey! Stop laughing and tie up your arm or something." Spade complained. Joker stifled another giggle before ripping a strip of fabric from her coat and tying her bleeding arm with it clumsily. _It's weird but it doesn't really hurt…just dizzy…_

"My apologies. My brain wasn't working properly." Joker bowed her head. Spade snorted.

"Was it ever working in the first place?" he asked. Joker pretended to think for a moment before shaking her head.

"No, not really. So what do you think we should do now?" she asked Spade. Spade shrugged.

"I think we're lucky to be in a hallway with windows. They're locked but you can just use the nodachi. " he said, motioning at the window. Joker stared at the window for a moment, before picking up the now sheathed nodachi from the floor. Awkwardly holding it with her right arm, Joker slammed it into the window as she could. The window did not break. In truth, Joker was extremely weak, especially her arms. She could get in a few good kicks if she was ever in a situation where she had to fight a normal person her age, but she would still lose. Joker frowned at the window as Spade laughed at her failure. Ignoring the slightly-irritating ghost behind her, Joker sighed and tied the nodachi back on her shoulder. _Property damage fees-wait, who gives?_ Joker took a deep breath before running forward a few steps and slamming her right foot into the window as hard as she could. Nothing happened. Not giving up, Joker spun around, slamming her foot into the window again, before proceeding to trip and fall on her face, making Spade howl with laughter. To both their surprise, the window broke. The odd duo gaped at the scene for a few moments before quickly moving to the broken window.

"Ladies first." Spade said mockingly, still chuckling. Joker pathetically tried to pull herself over the window, but between her lack of energy and blood loss, she failed and tripped over. Spade stared at her for a long moment before bursting into laughter again, and Joker twitched, trying very hard not to glare at him. After a long moment, Spade sighed, before reluctantly moving to help her.

"Thank you very much." Joker said through clenched teeth. Spade tried to make a serious expression, but ruined it by laughing. Joker toppled over to the other side of the window, on what seemed to be a balcony.

"Why would there be a balcony on the first floor?" Joker wondered aloud, before standing up to take in her surroundings. She turned to Spade, who had carelessly floated through the window.

"Spade?" Joker said in a mechanic voice. The swordsman turned to look at her.

"What now?" he asked, obviously still amused by her earlier display. Joker pointed.

"The plan you created was indeed wonderful, but there seems to be a minor miscalculation." she said as politely as possible.

"What miscalculation? So troublesome…" Spade whined. Joker twitched. _Did he really not realize? _

"Spade, we're on the third floor."

"WHAT?!"

A/N: Okay! I really hope that was alright!

So basically, to make things clear, Joker is a 16 year old Chinese-American who is only good at math and English, and the latter is only because of her odd way of speaking/writing/thinking. She's not very pretty or anything, and looks much younger than she really is, and is pretty flat. Just to make it clear, she has been wearing jeans, a coat and a scarf. The clothes are stained with blood and everything, and Joker will eventually burn them, after she finds some other clothing to wear. Joker's real name is Joanne Lee, and her parents are divorced, but on good terms. No sob-story or anything. Her parents taught her to be polite, her friends didn't really like her, that's all there really is. She's pathetically weak, (as seen before), can't run, and she spaces out a lot. However, she can concentrate pretty well in a dire situation, like in the last three chapters. Oh, and she can see and feel ghosts, for some reason. In fact, that's basically all she can do, since trigonometry and essays are useless to her in this world. She's pretty much a polite idiot who has very slow reaction rates. Oddly, she has yet to show any reaction to her world being destroyed, possibly due to shock or simply because she had accepted it and maybe her tears upon being cut were partly due to that too. Though she seems to dislike the idea of people dying, she watched in amazement during the swordfight, leading us to question her odd personality.

Spade is a mysterious ghost who was 20 when he died. He's a swordsman, an albino, and a ghost to boot, as he had stated before. Spade is a pretty boy, a little like that main character in Gamaran, and wears a white kimono. He owns the Rage of the Storm, the second best sword of their world. Though he cannot touch it (his hand would just go right through), he treasures the sword and refuses to leave it behind, leading to him being stuck in that room for a few decades. He seems to be pretty intelligent, but is probably not much better than Joker. His personality is extremely odd, and not very stable. His moods change quite often, easily going from uncaring to scary to shocked to angry to uncaring again to rolling-on-the-ground-laughing. Spade seems to have a strong sense of honor, seeing as he dislikes resorting to cheap tricks as Natsu did, and dislikes it when his allies die. However, he isn't keeping Joker alive from the goodness of his heart, and while he did seem concerned when she panicked during the trip through the wall, he was easily distracted from her injuries by the sword during the fight with Natsu. Let's just say that he's not a great guy, but he and Joker will gradually become good friends.

The island the duo are stuck on is La Idem, and the owner of the mansion is a mysterious man in a wheelchair, referred to as Master. Master is shown to be extremely intuitive, and seems to treat Natsu quite condescendingly. Natsu is shown to be his apprentice, and though the orange haired man appeared to be quite an opponent, Spade still finished him off relatively easily after using enough of Joker's energy to get the strength he had as a human. Though Spade did sustain quite some injuries from the fight, it was probably due to his need to finish it off quickly. It is implied that the Master was the one who killed Spade, and Master probably also knows of Natsu's demise by now.


	4. Chapter 4-Requiem of the Rain

Demon With A Shotgun Chapter 4

Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?

Pairings: None. Hell no. I don't write that stuff

Warnings: A polite idiot, a glowing sword, and a really creepy ghost.

Disclaimer: If I owned One Piece, Sabo and Ace wouldn't have died…sniff sniff sob sob

A/N: Please tell me what you think about the story. This chapter, a confrontation with Master and Joker's shocking reaction! Parallel story clear everything up this chapter, and who the black haired teen is becomes painfully obvious. It doesn't help that Spade says his name.

"" speech

_Italics_ Joker's thoughts

{} Parallel Story

Quotes:

"I don't know much about that philosophical stuff, but I just think it's great that we can go to sleep every night looking forward to tomorrow." –my friend.

"If you die, I'll kill you." – Riza/Yuni, Truth of the Sky

Last Time: "Spade?" Joker said in a mechanic voice. The swordsman turned to look at her.

"What now?" he asked, obviously still amused by her earlier display. Joker pointed.

"The plan you created was indeed wonderful, but there seems to be a minor miscalculation." she said as politely as possible.

"What miscalculation? So troublesome…" Spade whined. Joker twitched. _Did he really not realize? _

"Spade, we're on the third floor."

"WHAT?!"

Chapter 4: Requiem of the Rain

"Well, this is a bad situation." Spade said calmly, staring at the broken window, and then the long drop to the ground.

"Yes, I believe it is. How shall we proceed?" Joker asked, unconsciously reaching towards her injured army. _Great, it's barely been three minutes since we started and we're already doomed. _Spade sighed, tilting his head to the side as he tried to think of a plan. Joker stared at the forest below the balcony.

"Spade, do you think that maybe we can jump to a tree and climb down?" she wondered out loud. Spade gave her an exasperated look. "First of all, you have an injured arm, so that's not possible. Second of all, you are pathetically weak. You can't even get out a window. There's no way you would make it. Even if you miraculously managed to jump onto a branch, you can't climb down. At least, not without help." Spade pointed out, jabbing a finger in the direction of her arm. _Ugh, irritating arm…_

"That was another of the weird things I noticed. I still haven't passed out from blood loss or felt a lot of pain from my injury. It is a rather curious thing." Joker replied. Spade ignored her, and Joker pouted before beginning to carefully think over the situation.

"Earlier, that guy said that his Master was right…does that mean that his master somehow knew about us being here? Who is this shady guy anyways? Some sort of closet pervert? Anyways, that swordsman seemed very confident, and I'm guessing that this isn't the first time there's been intruders before…so if that guy still hadn't returned, wouldn't that mean that Master already knows that he lost. Since we haven't moved much at all, he should be able to find our location easily. Oh, damn, we're doomed…wait, without help?" Joker muttered to herself, earning a quick glance from Spade.

"Spade!" Joker suddenly shouted waving her good arm around in excitement.

"What ridiculous plan have you come up with now? At least it would be entertaining." Spade said cheerfully. Joker sighed at his lack of confidence in her, but began to speak.

"Remember how you can touch me without your hand passing through?" Joker asked. Spade nodded slowly, obviously confused.

"In that case, perhaps you can just lower me to the balcony below this? As for you, you could just float through the floor and land on the balcony below. Do you think that such a plan would work?" Joker asked cheerfully. Spade frowned, but floated through the floor to check if there was even a balcony below in the first place.

"I'm impressed. Let's try it." he said as he resurfaced, giving her a thumbs up. Grinning cheerfully, Joker didn't even react as Spade grabbed her hand and let her down from the railing of the balcony. She did stop grinning when she realized that the balcony below was further down than she thought, and that at the angle she was about to drop from, she would bounce off the railing and fall to her doom. _The ground doesn't look very soft…_Joker awkwardly looked up at Spade, who seemed to realize her dilemma. Spade's hand tightened slightly as he swung her towards the balcony a little, before letting go. Joker screamed, and somehow, between her flailing and Spade's amazing physical strength, she managed to bounce off the railing of the balcony… and crash onto solid floor. Joker grimaced as her side throbbed painfully from getting slammed into random solid objects, but got up quickly as Spade came floating through the floor above.

"Thank you very much, Spade." Joker said, to receive a glare from Spade.

"You're going to say thank you every time I do something? So irritating! You're only allowed to say it one more time until we get off this island!" he snapped. _He doesn't really seem angry though…_

"As you wish. Shall we continue on to the first floor?" Joker asked. Spade nodded.

"Alright, just don't scream so much this time." he ordered, before grabbing Joker's right hand in a firm grip. Joker nodded. _It is the first floor, after all._ However, when she was carefully let down, she did indeed scream, but for a completely different reason than the first time.

"What now?" Spade snapped. When Joker didn't reply, he came through the floor, dropping her to the ground below.

"Geez, what the hell?" he complained, glaring at Joker. _Oh my god oh my freaking god _

Spade turned to look at whatever it was that Joker was staring at, and let out a shout of surprise.

"Holy ****!" he shouted, jumping back. The mutilated corpse of a child was hanging by its ankle from a first floor window, the odor of burnt flesh strong in the air. Unbeknown to him, his sleeve was now blocking the corpse from Joker's line of sight. Now, all that Joker could see was a white sleeve, which significantly calmed her. _Who the hell did that? Why would someone do that anyways?! _ Closing her eyes, Joker offered a silent prayer for the dead child. Spade sighed heavily, before turning to her.

"We need to go." he said, a note of urgency in his voice that hadn't been there before. Trying to avoid looking at the corpse, Joker nodded and stood, wobbling slightly. Spade gripped her good arm and started running towards the woods.

"Where are we going?" Joker half-shouted. Spade gave her a quick reply.

"Once we get out of the woods, we'll get be able to get off this island! There should be a ship we can steal or something. If not…well then we're doomed, but if we stick around here, we're still doomed, so might as well bet our lives on it!" Spade shouted back, before grinning slightly. _Those words are similar to what Luffy says a lot…_

"I understand!" she grinned back shakily, trying to banish the image of the dead kid from her mind. She briefly squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the image apart and disposing of it from her mind. This was a trick her mother had taught her. It would help her forget it for at least a few hours, which should be good enough. Shaking her head vehemently, Joker focused on running instead.

{"One day you'll just realize that it's all just a lie! Everything you've worked for, everything you've fought for, it's all a lie!" a lady pleaded with the white-haired swordsman tearfully. The young man gave her an unreadable look.

"I'll decide that by myself, thanks. As for now, I'll break from these shackles holding me down! I have good legs…unlike you who hides here, away from the world, I'll get up and use them to keep moving forward!" he said in a determined voice. The lady stared at him for a moment before beginning to sob into her hands.

"You do not understand! You are still so young, but if you continue forward, you will meet your demise at the hands of-" the lady called desperately. The albino sighed and shook his head, cutting her off.

"Please, do not tell me. It's not about winning, losing, life or death! The life of a swordsman is a life of honor, and I plan to be the best one there is. I do not wish to hear the results of a fight before it has even begun." he replied in a determined voice, before walking away.

"But it has already began, has it not?" the lady whispered sadly, but did not call after him again.

Two hours later

The white-haired man looked up at the foreboding mansion with a small smile on his face.

"I'm on my way to the top… Mihawk!" }

Joker panted as she ran, her lungs burning. _Tiiiiirrred! _

"So *pant* tired!" she groaned, not able to stop herself from complaining. Spade turned around, his eyes comically wide.

"WHAT?! Already?!" he shouted comically. Joker tried to laugh, but ended up panting instead.

"Sorry…I really can't run!" she panted. Spade gave her a look.

"So you can sort of kick but you can't run?! Wait, you can't really kick either…" Spade muttered.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed. Spade growled at her.

"Stop apologizing! Don't say thank you, sorry or excuse me!" Spade snapped. Joker pouted.

"How unreasonable…" she muttered.

"That's more like it!" Spade shouted. Joker choked back a laugh.

"You sound like my physical education teacher!" she panted. Spade frowned.

"Physical education? Well, your teacher sure did a poor job…" he grumbled. Suddenly, Spade did what seemed to be an aikido move, but instead of getting slammed into the ground, Joker got slammed into Spade's shoulder, making her scream.

"What are you doing?! Please let me down!" she screeched. Spade made a face.

"I'm not happy with this arrangement either, you know! But you can't run!" he snapped in an accusing tone. _It's not my fault! Wait, it is…_

"Yes, it is!" Spade snarled, slamming her into a tree. "Oops, my bad." As expected, Joker let out a shriek of pain/fear as Spade weaved through the forest without the slightest bit of concern for the "passenger" on his shoulder.

"Did I just say that out loud?" she wondered when she was sure that she wasn't going to be slammed into another tree.

"Yes, you did." Spade replied, sounding a little amused. Joker sighed.

"I think that we have pretty terrible luck, or maybe it's just my bad luck dragging us down." she said after several more moments of getting bounced around and slammed into trees on Spade's shoulder. Spade's head went through a tree branch, and with a squeak, Joker barely managed to keep herself from getting slammed into that also.

"Why do you think so?" he asked. Joker frowned slightly, feeling oddly relaxed. _I usually don't feel so relaxed, even at home…_

"Hmmm…in less than an hour, my world imploded, I met you, we departed from the room we were in before, we ran into another swordsman, I got a cut on my arm that might cause complications later, we saw a …" Joker stopped, frowning as bits of the image flashed in her mind. "…and I ran out of breath. Based on the luck we have been having, I would not be surprised if we were to meet the Master of the mansion. It would be a most unpleasant experience." Spade snorted.

"You've been having an odd lack of reaction too…and you're right, our luck sucks. It's not like this is Impel Down or anything, it shouldn't be so hard, right? Meeting the master really would be bad for us, though." he said, going from cheerful agreement to dead serious in three sentences.

"Yes, I probably will throw up or something later about my world imploding and the cadaver from earlier, and I don't know about my arm, but it will probably be quite painful later. However, I am fine for now." Joker replied, shoving a branch away from her face.

"Ah…whatever then. I'm glad ghosts don't get tired, or this would be practically impossible." Spade said, cheerful again. Joker sweatdropped.

"Yes, a running conversation would be quite impossible if you weren't a ghost." she said, before giggling at her own pun. Spade gave her an exasperated look.

"Why are you called Joker again? You have no sense of humor!" he complained. Joker scowled slightly, before her ear twitched. _Is it just me or is Spade moving faster? And what's that sound?_

"Did you hear something?" she suddenly spoke. Spade's grip tightened.

"Shut up." he snarled. _S-scary! _His speed increased incredibly, until Joker had to close her eyes to keep herself from getting dizzy. _What's going on? I can still hear the sound…it's almost like there's something in the trees? The trees! _Joker let out a panicked scream as something whizzed right past her ear. If Spade had moved a second later, the disc would have embedded itself in her forehead…_Thank god for Spade_- This thought was put on hold as the disc exploded. Spade leaped backwards, taking Joker with him, barely avoiding the explosion, and slamming Joker into a tree. _Or not…_

"What the hell?" Spade and Joker shouted in unison. Spade gave Joker a funny look, but Joker ignored him, choosing to squint at the trees instead. _Why are there ropes? _Joker caught his gaze for a moment before glancing at the ropes.

"Do you think I can cut through them?" she asked quietly. Spade glanced between Joker and the rope for a few minutes before shaking his head.

"It would have worked if we had tried when we first entered the forest, but it's too late now." he replied.

"Oh god, do you think that it might be the Master?" Joker asked in a small voice. Spade's grip tightened painfully, and Joker winced.

"Uh, forget I said anyth- ah?" Joker suddenly found the world spinning rapidly around her before she landed on her feet and stumbled into a tree again. _He flipped me down? _

"Spade?" she asked hesitantly. A hand appeared on her shoulder, making her squeak.

"Your guess was right." he said, his voice trembling slightly with an undefined emotion. _Oh shit…_

"I recognize that sword…." a voice spoke. It sent shivers running down Joker's spine, and she leaned into Spade's grip. _What's with this horrible feeling? His presence? Aura? Whatever, it feels awful!_

"It was the sword of the first man I defeated. I don't suppose you were the one who defeated my student earlier? You seem a bit weak though…" the voice spoke again, as a wheelchair landed on the ground lightly, a bald man sitting on it. At first glance, nothing seemed wrong about him, but when Joker looked at him again, she saw that he had stumps for legs. _Were his legs chopped off at the knee?_

"We're in quite a pinch here, huh?" Spade breathed into her ear. Joker made a face.

"Yeah…" she replied. Master chuckled at her.

"I've never met someone who was so willing to admit that they're weak before. However, no matter who you are, you won't be making it out of this forest alive." Master said, sounding amused. Joker blinked twice. _Wait…death threat…._

"I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" she screamed, making Spade facepalm from behind her.

"Like that's going to help…" he muttered. The Master chuckled again.

"Usually they don't start pleading so soon…you really are amusing. If you were better looking, I would probably have made you a part of my collection." he said. _Collection?_ Spade's grip tightened, and Joker winced. _I bruise easily you know!_

"Thank you...I guess…" she muttered. Spade jabbed her side with an elbow, making her wince again.

"How entertaining…though I would've thought that a person like you would be screaming in pain by now, with your arm the way it is." the Master pointed out. Joker glanced at it.

"Well, it doesn't really hurt…" she replied awkwardly. Spade jabbed her again.

(A/N: I'm sure you'll get tired of reading that Spade jabs her again and she winces again, so just assume that she'll get jabbed every time she says something or does something idiotic.)

"Is that so? Well, it'll be hurting very soon." the Master said offhandedly. Joker shuddered.

"Maybe if you hadn't tried to steal that sword, you could have been a very promising child…" he mused. Joker glanced at the sword.

"My sincere apologies. However, it was the only choice that made sense." she replied. The Master didn't seem to hear, instead pulling out a gun.

"I used to use a sword also…I'm too old now." he chuckled, pointing it at her head. Joker shrieked, stumbling back.

"That sword was my trophy from my first win. The swordsman I fought against was ridiculous, refusing to break his code of honor and kill the distractions." the Master sighed, clicking the safety off the gun. _He means Spade? Doesn't just that mean that Spade is a better man than him? Oh shit- _Master's finger pulled the trigger just as Spade shoved her. The bullet passed through the ghost and lodged itself into the tree trunk behind the albino.

(A/N: Needless to say, she screamed again, like any normal person would. Like Spade jabbing her, which will definitely happen again, I don't think it's necessary to continuously say that she screamed. Just take it as a given that she will scream when threatened, when she sees a gory scene, when she gets hurt, when she's scared, or when surprised, unless otherwise specified.)

Spade didn't stop at shoving her out of the way. He quickly shoved Joker behind another tree, just as three more shots went through him, barely missing the girl. The Master frowned slightly.

"Oh my, you're not as weak as I thought you were, are you?" he raised an eyebrow. _That's right! I still have that!_ From her position behind the tree, Joker ignored him, pulling out a large can of pepper spray from her jacket. Spade stared at her oddly, but didn't comment. _Just like my teacher taught me…_

"Please prepare to run, Spade." she muttered. Spade nodded in reply, eyeing the can she was holding oddly. Joker unsheathed the sword silently. "Spade!" she whispered. Said swordsman nodded and gave her a boost up, allowing her to cut the ropes (with a lot of effort) in the trees. Without warning, Joker swooped out from behind the tree, spraying the Master with pepper spray.

"RUUUNNN!" she screamed in unison with Spade, who slammed her into his shoulder before taking off at a speed that would have left a trial of dust behind had he been human, slamming her into several trees in the process.

(A/N: Every time she is slammed into a scream, she will either wince, yelp or scream a little, so just take your pick.)

"Good job!" Spade laughed, cackling madly. Joker giggled.

"That was awfully rude of me, wasn't it?" she asked after calming down. Spade twitched, slamming her into a tree.

"Don't worry about that! What gave you the idea though?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder at Joker. _Thank god I was able to block it with my arm or I would have a concussion by now…_

"My physical education teacher! I don't think it's much help though…but at least it will buy us a little more time. That pepper spray is awesome stuff! Even if it doesn't make contact with your skin, the smell will make you cough and your eyes water! If it does make contact with your skin, it'll burn like an inferno!" Joker said enthusiastically. _Yay for pepper spray!_

"Right…that's cool…" Spade replied, giving her another weird look. The two fell into silence, only broken by the occasionally sound of Joker shoving tree branches away from her face.

"Spade, that man back there, did you wish to fight him again?" Joker suddenly spoke, making Spade jerk a little in surprise.

"It's not necessary." he replied. "I have no interest in fighting fools who throw away their honor." he replied. Joker grinned.

"You're really a great person, Spade!" she laughed. Spade choked, before shouting angrily at her.

"Like hell! Don't make me out to be some sort of nice person!" Joker frowned slightly.

"Does it even matter? Hey, I think we're finally reaching the edge of the forest!" she declared. Spade glanced at her.

"Good job, I didn't know you were so observant!" he said dryly. Joker pouted, before twisting around to get a good glance.

"Wait…but why is it so bright?" she asked. Spade skidded to a stop.

"We just can't catch a break, can we?" he snarled, flipping her down. Joker gulped, staring at the scene ahead.

"Out of the frying pan…" she whispered, staring at the rows of men pointing guns at her and Spade.

"And into the fire." Spade finished grimly.

A/N: They sure talk a lot when they run. Me and my friends do that too. We're running, and I'm like, "hey the weather's nice today." Then my friend would go "How is that important?" and we would chat while running. It always pissed off the P.E teacher, who would run up from behind us and smack us. My friend always jabs me when I do or say something stupid, which is pretty often, so my side is usually in a sore state. :D Please review!

Okay, so some people seemed to be confused about the concept of Spade borrowing energy from Joker, so I'm going to explain it to the best of my ability! It's best explained with a diagram, but I can't make one right now, so I'll just write. You see, Spade is a ghost, so normal people can't see, feel or hear him. However, some people are born with the ability to see, hear and feel ghosts, like Joker. These people are known as "shamans" and are very rare. If their power is properly utilized, they could destroy entire nations overnight, and so they are usually recruited by pirates or marines, but Joker is pretty useless, so that probably won't happen to her. Perona is a shaman who can't be considered very powerful, as she only uses low-level shades and was defeated by Usopp, but she is still much, much stronger than Joker. You can consider Joker and Spade's relationship a "contract" that allows Spade to use Joker's energy to become material or allow Joker to gain immaterial properties temporarily. However, the downside is that the ghost cannot become material for long, and it can only be used for once when in a sticky situation, or the shaman will lose the energy needed to stay alive and die. If honed properly, this contract can be very powerful. In a contract, the ghost can also share the body of the shaman temporarily in a time of need, and the shaman would temporarily gain powers of the ghost. That is the basic power of a contract. Joker will be using the previously described power in the next chapter, and finally get off the island, only to end up in a stickier situation. Well, whatever. By the way, Master was not "defeated" in any way, he was just slowed down a little due to not being able to use the ropes in the trees, which is sort of like Dr. Kureha's cable string. So he decided that someone as weak as Joker could just be left to his subordinates. Damn, he sure is a weird guy. Why didn't he just use his sword? Why the hell did he tell Joker about Spade's death anyways? Do people really talk so much before killing someone? Well, maybe just in anime…Wait, he's my character, but he was like that in my other story also. You can just interpret it as Master playing around with Joker. He also doesn't really care about Natsu, as he thinks of Natsu as nothing more than entertainment. I hope this sort of clears up the confusion…right, please review, and thanks for all your support, everyone!


	5. Chapter 5- One Day

Demon With A Shotgun Chapter 5

Summary: When Joanne(nickname Joker) said that she wanted to go to the One Piece universe when she died, she was just being a fangirl and wasn't serious at all. So when her world is destroyed and she is rudely tossed into a creepy mansion, she freaks out. What was with that weird sword, and why could nobody else see that guy in the white kimono?

Pairings: None. Hell no. I don't write that stuff

Warnings: A polite idiot, a glowing sword, and a really creepy ghost.

Disclaimer: If I owned One Piece, Sabo and Ace wouldn't have died…sniff sniff sob sob

A/N: Please tell me what you think about the story. This chapter, Joker uses the most dangerous ability a "contract" gives her, falls on her face and gets help from an unexpected ally. Thank you for all your support! I was so touched I pulled a Franky. *When Franky house came to rescue him, he got all teary and weird like Bon-chan.*

"" speech

_Italics_ Joker's thoughts

{} Parallel Story

Quotes:

"Shoot her! Shoot her dead but don't kill her!" Spandam

"I'll call it…pasta machine!"

"Don't just name your attack on the spot!" Kaku and Zoro (I love the Enies Lobby arc…)

Last Time:

"Wait…but why is it so bright?" she asked. Spade skidded to a stop.

"We just can't catch a break, can we?" he snarled, flipping her down. Joker gulped, staring at the scene ahead.

"Out of the frying pan…" she whispered, staring at the rows of men pointing guns at her and Spade.

"And into the fire." Spade finished grimly.

Chapter 5: One Day

"Oh shit…" Joker whimpered. Spade growled.

"Damn! You still don't have enough energy to make me material!" he snarled. Joker ignored him in favor of bowing politely towards the men, who were preparing to shoot.

"Please excuse me, but where can I find a boat?" she asked.

"You idiot!" Spade screamed, hitting her on the head.

"Ah, it's right by the docks." a man said, pointing to the left. _He seems to be the leader…_Joker's eyes narrowed. Spade choked.

"By the way, have you seen a girl with black hair, like you, a bloodstained coat, like you, and a sword, like you? There's an intruder on this island that should be around here…she is extremely dangerous. If you know anything, please tell us so that we can capture her." the man said in a professional tone. Joker and Spade sweatdropped.

"Doesn't he realize that the intruder is you? Whatever, use it to your advantage!" Spade hissed. Joker nodded.

"Ah, yes, I think I saw a girl running towards that direction earlier, but I didn't know she was an intruder…my apologies…" Joker said nervously, pointing towards the right.

"No no, it's alright! Guarding this island is our job! Run along now, you have to get back to the mansion by dinnertime, or Master will be angry." the man said kindly.

"Y-yes sir! Thank you very much for reminding me!" Joker called, running in the direction of the docks.

"Men! Search the forest! We must eliminate the intruder immeadiently!" he shouted.

"Yes sir!" the men shouted back. Spade sweatdropped again.

"Seriously though, what an idiot!" he chuckled.

"Yeah, he actually believed it, even though I matched the description…" Joker laughed.

"Talking to yourself? How cute." an amused voice said from somewhere above. Joker stumbled to a stop, glancing around nervously.

"You have horrible luck." Spade said flatly. Joker's legs began to tremble.

"A-again?" she groaned. A person jumped from a tree, landing gently on his feet a few feet behind her. He grinned down at her.  
"So you are the intruder after all…the Head really is too stupid. Luckily, I followed you, just in case. Well, you don't seem very strong, but an intruder is an intruder. I'll definitely get promoted for this." he said, seeming very excited at this prospect. Joker stared at him for a few moments. _Damn, Spade can't help me fight, so I'll have to fight him myself! _She stared at his muscular form for a few more moments before running away at top speed. _Like hell I'll fight him! _Spade stared at her in surprise.

"You actually got pretty fast! Great, now we just have to get to the docks before him-" Joker didn't hear him finish his sentence as she was slammed into the ground by a hand around her neck.

"Oh shit!" Joker screamed, struggling to get away.

"That was quite quick…I'm almost surprised." the man chuckled, seeming amused. Joker kicked him in the arm as hard as she could, making him loosen his grip.

"Good job!" Spade said sarcastically, pulling her up and forward.

"You're not cute after all…" the man sighed, before swatting Joker in the stomach, sending her flying into a tree. _What? But it was just a swat-_

"Joker!" Spade shouted, grabbing her arm again and pulling her out of the way just in time. The man's fist smashed through thin air and into the tree, creating a hole in the trunk.

"H-hieeeee!" Joker screamed, leaving clouds of dust behind as she ran away. "Scary!" Spade smacked her on the head for the idiotic comment.

"Wow, so you can run quite fast…hey, are you okay?" Spade mused before suddenly remembering that Joker had just been swatted into a tree. Joker nodded.

"I think. I don't really feel any pain, in either my arm or my stomach, which is really weird…" Joker panted. Spade frowned.

"That's weird…" he began, but once again, the rest of his sentence went unheard when Joker was slammed into the ground again.

"Ah, this is quite annoying…you run really fast." the man complained, but Joker didn't hear him. There was an odd ringing in her ears and there was suddenly an immense pain in her arm and stomach. _What? Why now? Oh shit this hurts…_ Joker tried to pull herself up, but found that her body wasn't moving properly.

"What's with this shitty guy?! Hey Joker, what's wrong?" Spade shouted. The man looked at her blankly.

"Ara, is your arm and stomach hurting a lot? I'm not surprised. After all, they were abused horribly." the man sighed. _Get up and run or die…the choice is sort of obvious, isn't it? _Joker got up slowly with Spade's help (if you consider grabbing her by the arm and yanking her up helping…) and prepared to run, only to receive a blow to her side that sent her flying into a tree.

"Nngh!" she choked out as a hand tightened around her neck.

"Damn it! You bastard!" Spade snarled, floating right through the man at an incredible speed. The man's eyes widened, and he started shivering.

"So cold all of a sudden…." he muttered, letting go of Joker to rub his hands together.

"We've got to get the hell out of here!" Spade shouted, helping Joker up as the man approached them again, seemingly recovered. This time, to both of their surprise, his hand didn't wrap around Joker's arm, but went right through. _Who what where when why?!_

"EH?!" the two screamed in unison, before Spade suddenly flickered and disappeared.

"Spade! What the hell is going on? Spade?!" Joker screamed, looking around as the man approached her.

_**I'm right here-wait, this is your body?! Wow you're not as flat as you look…**_ a familiar voice sounded in her head.

_Spade?! I'm so glad you're-wait what?! Why you bastard!_

_**Sorry, couldn't resist…wait, I'm in your body!**_

_Please don't go around stating the obvious! We have to do something about this situation! Hey wait, my body feels really weird…_

_**I have no idea about what's going on, but it seems like my energy and strength are in your body too…I think this is creepy, really really really creepy, but let's just take advantage of this situation!**_

…_Please don't wreck my body_

_**What's with that answer? Anyways- **_Joker jolted slightly in shock as her arm moved to unsheathe the sword and moved her arm away.

_**Just watch!**_ Joker twitched slightly, but did as Spade asked and stopped moving.

_My body's moving on its own! Uwah! _she mentally wailed as Spade-Joker drew the sword and smirked at the man.

"Ara? What's this?" the man asked, frowning slightly. Spade-Joker just grinned.

"You piss me off." he/she chuckled as he/she charged forward. The man raised an eyebrow and jumped back as Spade-Joker swung the sword forward.

_Is this really my body?_

_**Don't be ridiculous**_.

From the shadows of a tree, a figure with sharp silver eyes watched the young girl as she fought.

"What graceful movements…completely different from before. After all, she is a shaman…" the figure mused. The figure's grin widened as the girl jumped up into the air, arms spread like a bird's, before swooping down, cutting into the man's chest with the blade now held in a double handed grip.

"Haha, that's definitely enough to take the man out…now let's see what she'll do when confronted with multiple enemies."

Joker stared in shock as the man fell over, losing consciousness.

_That was amazing, Spade!_

_**Don't rejoice too soon, I think he contacted the others. We'll have to cut down a couple more. We won't make it to the docks-they're too close. I think he might have called them when we were first noticed…when you were first noticed. **_

_Ah, is that so? Damn I'm going to get killed…_

_**No you won't. I'm here too! Stop underestimating me!**_

Joker shuddered slightly before Spade took over again. Spade-Joker's eyes scanned the area around them slowly, before focusing ahead.

"It's the girl from before! So she was the intruder after all! All men prepare, shoot to kill!" the idiotic man from before shouted, charging towards them, flanked by thirteen other muscular men. Joker squeaked.

_Oh shit! I'm going to die!_

_**You cursed! Whoa. No you won't die, have some faith in my abilities, damn it! Though I have to use a slightly more feminine fighting style to suit your body, it still works!**_

_Sorry, I don't really doubt you it's just that- GYAAAAA!_

The silver-eyed figure watched in silence as the man who seemed to be the leader shot at the girl, who swiftly turned her body, avoiding the bullet and moving close enough to cut the man at the same time.

"The fighting style of that white-haired swordsman is truly remarkable, but the girl is even more so…how old is she anyways? Why is she so short?"

(A/N: Right, what did you think he would say? Something about her skill as a shaman or something? As if he would- oh wait I just accidentally revealed his gender…who cares. So he found her short stature remarkable…strange guy, but I rather like him as a character. He's an idiot too. Yes, he can see and hear ghosts, apparently, though he can't feel them. Oh, and he's an okama.) Said girl sprang forward, body almost diagonal as she gathered momentum, swinging up and cutting through the leader's shoulder, before lightly springing up, slamming the hilt of the sword into his head, causing him to lose consciousness. This was followed by a quick spin of the sword that downed the three men that had managed to close in on her. Landing gracefully, the girl didn't waste any time trying to recover balance, choosing to fall forward instead, gathering momentum before twisting her body and cutting down two more men, regaining her balance as she did so.

Spade-Joker moved in a dance-like manner, cutting down men as he/she did so.

_I-is this really my body?_

_**Of course! It's ridiculously weak though, I can't even exert half my full strength! This is good enough though, but you might run out of breath soon. There's still seven more men also…what a dilemma. Try to put some of your strength into the movements also.**_

_Okay, got it. I'm sorry my body is so weak…but we still have hope right? _

…_**Is what I would like to say, but I wonder….**_

_What?! No! Please have faith in your abilities! …Waaaahh! I don't want to die!_

_**Aren't you the one panicking here?!**_

The man watched as the girl jumped away from the remaining seven men.

"Ah, is her body too weak to withstand the attacks she uses? She seems to be almost out of breath…" he murmured, his keen ears picking up the sound of her slightly heavy breathing.

"Her heart beat is also a bit quick, isn't it?" he continued.

"You little brat!" one of the remaining men shouted, charging at the girl.

"Damn it! Kill her!" another roared, and the others gave yells of approval, charging at the girl as well. A vein on the girl's forehead twitched as perspiration began to form on her face.

"What a shaman…" the okama laughed as the girl swiftly stabbed through a man before bending backwards, pulling out the sword and cutting into the chest of the man behind her. She balanced on a hand briefly before rolling to the side, avoiding several bullets, before coming up on one knee, making a cross-slashing motion that downed the man she came up next to. The girl rose to her feet, stumbling slightly.

"Should I go help her?" he mused.

Spade-Joker's body was screaming for him/her to stop.

_Oh my god are they dead?! My body feels horrible…_

_**Calm down, I won't kill using your body if I can't help it…or something. No, I don't think so…**_

_D-don't think so? Right, real reassuring._

_**Shut up! Damn it, your body is so weak!**_

_My apologies. You see, even with your strength, my body is very frail. Luckily, I can't really feel much of the pain-_

_**Because I have a great tolerance for pain.**_

…_right, thank you very much for your input. Or else, I wouldn't even be able to move at all. Even with your strength, my stamina is very limited. I have no idea why though…_

Spade-Joker jumped out of the way as bullets peppered the spot he/she stood a moment ago

"Three down, four to go…" Spade-Joker muttered.

_**We just have to down one or two more and then we would be able to escape!**_

_Got it, I will do my best. Best of luck to both of us._

…_**what kind of response is that?!**_

The okama watched expressionlessly as the girl dashed forward, dodging the bullets at an incredible speed, and slicing one of the men in the side as she went past, before disengaging quickly, and turning around, still skidding forward and further away from the men.

"An escape-attack? That just might work… she really is out of strength, huh?" he said seriously. The man she cut staggered, but he did not fall. Sweat was now dripping down the girl's face as she leaped forward, arms spread out, before bringing both above her head, cutting down the man she failed to defeat earlier. The girl backed away quickly, but not quickly enough. His companion swung his rifle into her stomach, making her double over in pain. Recovering quickly, she swiftly dodged a bullet before moving forward to make another attack, but tripped gracelessly over the leg of the man she downed earlier.

"What?" the okama stated in disbelief as she fell on her face.

Spade-Joker fell face down onto the hard ground, barely avoiding breaking his/her nose.

_Oh shit!/__**Oh shit!**_ the two thought in unison.

_**What the hell, Joker?! **_

_I'm sorry! I don't know what happened! _

_**By the way, I don't think we can cut down any more men. **_Spade-Joker rolled over and pushed him/herself up to see the barrel of a gun inches away from her forehead.

_WE'RE GONNA DIIEEEEEEEE!_

_**Correction. You're gonna die. I'll be fine. I'm a ghost.**_

_Not helping, Spade._

"Uh…I'm sorry?" Joker said meekly, temporarily regaining full control of her body. The man's finger tightened on the trigger, preparing to shoot.

The okama sighed, frowning.

"Ah well, I needed a way off this island anyways, and making a friend would be nice." he muttered, doing a few quick stretches. When he looked up, he saw a guard about to shoot the girl

"Huh? No! Waaaaiiiiiiitttt! Demon Hunter: Offensive Form the Third, Purple Lightning!" he shouted, jumping out of the bushes ballerina style and kicking the said guard away, sending the man crashing into a tree.

"What?!" the remaining two guards screamed in unison with the girl.

"A girl?/An okama?" they chorused again.

"That is wrong!" he snarled at the guards, before smiling at the girl.

"That's right, kid. I'm Kajio, from North Blue, I like cross-dressing, adventures and cute kids like you." Kajio introduced himself to the girl, holding out his hand.

"Um, I'm Joker, from ….ah, too complicated, I like reading, pepper spray and cross-dressers like you." she replied, shaking hands with him.

"Ah, what about that pretty white haired ghost with you? Don't make such shocked faces, they're unbecoming. I can see and hear ghosts but I'm not a shaman, unlike you. Procrastinated explanation complete!" Kajio said cheerfully.

"I see! I don't understand! Anyways, Spade is a ghost-swordsman, and he's really strong. He likes swordsmanship, I guess?" Joker said.

"Pity I can't talk to him face to face right now though…" the okama sighed.

"Wait! Just what is going on here?! It's too weird for words!" one of the guards shouted.

"Don't look down on us guards!" the other yelled, charging at the okama with his sword withdrawn. Kajio scowled at him before getting into a weird stance.

"Don't interrupt a conversation! Demon Hunter: Fourth Offensive Form, En Passant!" he snarled, quickly taking out the other two.

"Wow! You're so strong!" Joker said in amazement, getting up gingerly.

"Haha, you're not bad either, shaman-chan!" Kajio laughed.

"Thank you, though that was because of Spade." Joker replied. The brunette okama grinned.

"That's okay! You're escaping this island?" Joker nodded affirmatively.

"Me too, though I wasn't discovered yet. I wanted a way off, and you've provided me the perfect opportunity, so let's be friends and travel together!" Kajio suggested.

"Okay!" Joker agreed.

_**What are you doing?!**_ Spade screamed in her mind, ignored by the girl.

"Alright then, you get to be the captain!" Kajio suggested. Joker sweatdropped.

"Aren't we just friends traveling together? It's not like we're pirates or anything." she replied calmly.

_**Why are you acting so casual with him anyways?!**_

"Even if you aren't, you'll become an outlaw, won't you? The master of this island has a lot of connections with marines. Once you screw with him, you don't get a normal life anymore." Kajio explained.

"What?! Why was this not made clear earlier?!" Joker screamed in a panic. Kajio just grinned.

"It's fine! You're a shaman, aren't you?" he questioned.

"No, it's not really fine. Didn't I just get turned into an outlaw?! We have to make haste and depart from this island immeadiently!" Joker shouted, running towards the docks with Spade and her combined strengths, her body having recovered enough to run.

_Oh my god I'm an outlaw?!_

_**Yeah.**_

"Okay, Joker-chan!" Kajio followed, smiling.

"AGH! My life is so messed up!" Joker wailed as they continued to run.

A/N: Well…another weirdo appears. Yes, her powers as a shaman are cool, yeah? They have side-effects though… Please review! Thank you very much for reading! I love you all!

Basically, Kajio is an eighteen year old okama who looks feminine (his long hair doesn't help, even if it's in a braid) and likes cross dressing. He's currently wearing a long blue Chinese-style robe with white pants underneath. He knows some basic medical knowledge, and is pretty strong, but weaker than Spade. He's sort of nice-ish and likes making friends, and would go as far as to put himself into danger and become an outlaw to make a friend, as seen before. Personality flaws, man. Personality flaws. He often does things without thinking, like Joker, as seen earlier when they became friends/crewmates. He's not a pirate though. Kajio grew up in the mountains of North Blue, in a clan where boys are taught to fight at an early age. He's a bit of an idiot. It seems that idiots really do get along well, huh? By the way, his love for adventure landed him on this island, but he hid himself and listened in on conversations, giving him some information on the place he landed in. When Joker came along, he thought it would be a good opportunity to make friends and get out of this place.

Okay, just making things clear here: Joker can access Spade's strength when she becomes "possessed", but if she doesn't do the movements also, it would be harder for Spade to control her body. Also, she's already injured, slightly in shock, and exhausted, not to mention that she was always very weak, so even though she can use Spade's strength, her body can't withstand the attacks for long. Therefore, the stamina becomes extremely limited, though it mainly depends on the "breath" Joker has, or the physical state of her body. On a good day, right after a nap and a snack/meal, she would probably be able to take on twenty men or so when "possessed" before running out of "breath". Yeah, confusing right? It's better explained with a diagram, which is not readily available.


End file.
